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Alec Greven – How to Talk to Girls

Check out this wonderful YouTube video of 9 year old Alec Greven talking about how to talk to girls.  Our Fire & Bones program works with male you age 12 to 18.  Healthy male mentors support them on their journey to manhood. Please contact us

Welcome to the West Coast Men’s Support Society Blog!

Welcome to our new blog!  This blog will incorporate the input and insights of a number of men and women across British Columbia and beyond.  We hope to have at least two new blog postings per week that will stimulate topical discussions.  The discussions will

Fathers without Fathers – Aboriginal Men in Canada

Good Day, I was told about the below article earlier by a colleague, and wanted to post it for our readers.  I believe that it connects with the type of work we are doing here at The West Coast Men’s Support Society.  Our Dads Make

Can Men Have Post Partum Depression?

The West Coast Men’s Support Society is always curious around various issues that impact men.  One issue that came across my desk today was around men suffering from postpartum depression.  Here is a link to the article that initially sparked my interest.  The article confirms

Thank you Thank you Queen Alexandra Foundation!!

The West Coast Men’s Support Society is very pleased to announce that the Queen Alexandra Foundation has granted us funds for our Fire & Bones – Youth Mentoring on Vancouver Island!!  This program helps male youth in both middle and secondary schools through the use

Men’s Centre at Simon Fraser University!!

I just published this on our Facebook page:

This is the cartoon that was published in SFU’s Peak publication when they published their article about the Men’s Centre. I submitted the following letter to their opinions email address in response to the cartoon:

Good Day,

I am trying to understand what you were hoping to achieve by publishing the above noted cartoon in your April 9, 2012 publication. The first thought that came to mind when I saw it was: “when are people – especially men going to take men’s emotional health seriously? If men cannot take their own emotional health seriously then how can women?” As the Executive Director of the West Coast Men’s Support Society, I want to reinforce to your publication and to your readers that there must be a balanced approach to men’s and women’s emotional needs in order for emotional safety to truly exist. For until men have taken a good look in the mirror and received the emotional support that they require (especially from other men), they will continue to wander the world as immature little boys – not having a clear grounded understanding of their needs as a human being. I truly hope that Men’s Centres continue to be formed across Canada and anywhere a Women’s Centre exists, in order for balance to be achieved. Thank you for your time.

I think that the above letter to the editor speaks for itself.  Please feel free to contact the West Coast Men’s Support Society for more details about our programs and resources.  Thanks for your time!  :-)

I Don’t Want to Talk About It – Men & Depression

I came across the following article on MenWeb:

Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression © 1998 review by Bert H. Hoff – book author = Terrance Real

This article talks about male depression. The West Coast Men’s Support Society often hears about issues around depression in our various groups.  We are hear to support men.

Here is a very good excerpt:

Terry Real asserts that depression is often overlooked and misunderstood to men. He disputes the conventional wisdom that the rate of depression in women is two to four times the rate of men. Depression is experienced and expressed differently in men and women. Depressed men don’t reach out for help in the same way that women do. Too often, men are reluctant to be too expressive of their feelings or too openly vulnerable. Depression is seen as unmanly and shameful. It carries a double stigma for men — that of a mental illness as well as femininity.

The depression that we most often see—or fail to see—in men is what Terry calls “covert” rather than “overt” depression. Where do we see this covert depression? In self medication, isolation and lashing out. Self-medication may be drinking, drugging, womanizing and even watching excessive amounts of television. Terry points out that some forms of self medication are tolerated by our culture so it is hard to get across that what these men are doing is stabilizing depression.

Lashing out can mean violence and domestic abuse. Untreated depression may be an integral part of many male batterers.”

Here are some more good links to information on men and depression:

National Institute (USA) of Mental Health – Men and Depression

Canadian Mental Health Association – Depression and Men: Is it different than in Women?

Men Get Depression – 25% men are afflicted

Please contact us if a man you know and/or love has depression and you or he are not sure where to turn for support.

Thanks for your time and interest!

Grant M. Waldman, Executive Director
West Coast Men’s Support Society

Leonard Orr: The Two Trees

I came across an excellent article from the Los Angeles Men’s Centre that I wanted to share today.  At the West Coast Men’s Support Society, we are always looking for inspiration from beyond our walls.  I believe that the below story definitely inspires discussion around the human experience on this planet.
Here is the content of the article.  I hope that you find it inspiring.
There is new hope. A new Nostradamus book has been found. It says that when the true meaning of the Garden Trees is revealed, the Age of Truth will come…

In the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve there were two special Trees.

Do you remember what they are called? The tree of temptation was called the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. The Bible says that if Adam and Eve ate the fruit of this tree they would surely die.

Understanding the true meaning of this story is a matter of Life and Death. And yet I have never in my life heard a sermon in any church that explained the true meaning of this story. Here is the true meaning of these trees and if you honor this meaning and practice these simple truths, you will have the secret to Life, to success, and to personal mastery.

The name of the second tree is The Tree of Life. To eat of this tree, the Bible says, gives us Everlasting Life. Since Adam, very very few people have discovered the meaning of this Tree. The Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil is the Mind. It is the fruit of this Tree that produces death in our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. When we get trapped in our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings, we die. We cut ourselves – our mind and body – off from the Source.

The Tree of Life is Life Itself – the space between our thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. The Tree of Life is the Energy evenly distributed throughout time and space. It is the Eternal Spirit, God, Infinite Being. It is Life Itself.

To eat of the Tree of Life is to Live in the reality beyond the Mind, which is the Source of the Mind and all things. It is the thinker. To bring our Mind into harmony with our Divine Nature is Eternal Life. Learning to live with Spirit Power instead of Mind Power or Physical Power. Absolute Power is Perfect Rest. When people are stuck in their Mind, “the Spirit no longer strives with them.”

To eat of the Tree of Knowledge is to be dependent upon the Mind and external reality.
To eat of the Tree of Life is to be dependent only upon Infinite Eternal Spirit. We have to Live in Spirit which is Love, Simplicity, and Truth. We have to learn how to get our strength and power and peace and rest from Spirit rather than forcing it with the mind and physical power. This doesn’t mean being lazy and sitting around meditating on a mantra. It means using the mantra to motivate ourselves to move, and love, and be of service. Not just running around doing nothing, but intelligent action grounded in wisdom and joyous, creative artistic Self expression. We can find ways of serving God, ourselves, others, and the planet in Eco-friendly ways that are designed to support high quality Life for everyone.

Since Pure Life exists in the space between all our thoughts and we have over 50,000 thoughts per day, we are involuntarily visiting our Source over 50,000 times per day. But most people don’t realize that this space is the Tree of Life. They are not aware of their Divine Nature and do not build it into their self-esteem nor listen to it. The ultimate True Religion is Silence. In Perfect Silence there can be no argument; no doctrinal differences. There is only unity and Oneness. This Oneness can resolve all conflicts. Oneness can stop all wars.

Everything that exists is created by mind. But we are the Source of Mind and all thoughts, doctrines, beliefs, and feelings. They all are optional and subject to choice. The purpose of conflicts are to expand our communication and raise us into higher Truth until we dwell in Truth, Simplicity and Love which is Knowledge of Life Itself. When we master our relationship to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and the Tree of Life We become the masters of our own Eternal Life.

However, in order to eat of the Tree of Life, we have to get past the flaming sword and get back into the garden. The flaming sword is the symbol for spiritual purification. What is this? Simple spiritual practices with earth, air, water, and fire do the job.

Earth practices are vegetarian diet, regular fasting, a personal exercise system, massage, sound (music, percussion,,etc), and doing work that we love – a career of loving service.

Air practices are conscious energy breathing.

Water practices are bathing twice per day and being conscious of the quality of our drinking water.

Fire purification is done by sitting with an open flame alone for 5 to 19 hours while meditating on our energy body.

In addition to these simple practices, we have to watch the quality of those 50,000 thoughts per day and have harmony in all our relationships, in other words, to live in love all the time.
Meditating on the names of God continually is the basic form of prayer that pulls the Presence of God into our lives and raises the quality of our live into the Presence of God.
Think spiritual community!

Each of the above simple practices is scientific and self-validating and yields a Life of Pleasure and Inspiration, even Bliss.

Thank you Thank you Queen Alexandra Foundation!!

The West Coast Men’s Support Society is very pleased to announce that the Queen Alexandra Foundation has granted us funds for our Fire & Bones – Youth Mentoring on Vancouver Island!!  This program helps male youth in both middle and secondary schools through the use of weekly “Truth Circles” with healthy male mentors/facilitators.  We will be delivering the program to several schools in the Cowichan Valley on Vancouver Island; and hope to introduce the program in the Comox Valley and the Victoria region.

Please contact us for more information about Fire & Bones – Uniting Generations!

Thanks for your time!

Sincerely,

Grant M. Waldman
Executive Director

What is Addiction? From Jed Diamond’s The Warrior’s Journey Home

The disease of lost selfhood

Addiction: The disease of lost selfhood

Today, the West Coast Men’s Support Society wants to focus on Addiction.  Addiction plays a part in so many aspects of our lives.  Whether it is work or love or play, addiction quite often drives a lot of our actions.  Jed Diamond thinks of addiction as the disease of lost self-hood.
Quite often, addictions can come up as a topic in either our Dads Make a Difference Group, Men’s Circles, or Respect & Compassion Workshop.

Here are the seven aspects of self that Jed Diamond believes addicts have lost their connection with:

1.  Physiological Loss:  How is the person out of touch with his body and it’s normal functioning.
2.  Psychological loss:  How has the person lost touch with his sense of self-esteem?
3.  Familial loss:  In what ways was the family a person grew up in dysfunctional or abusive?
4.  Interpersonal loss:  Has the need for healthy friendships been replaced by an addictive peer group?
5.  Social loss:  How have social pressures – such as racism, sexism, or social isolation – limited support from the community in which a person lives.
6.  Cultural loss:  How has life in a dominator/domesticator culture cut this man off from his partnership roots?
7.  Spiritual loss:  What are the ways in which this man has lost his connection with the spiritual dimension of life?

Please have a look at our various programs that may offer you some support in your life.  Thanks for connecting!

Grant M. Waldman
Executive Director
grant@westcoastmen.org

Some quotes to share

Quotes that relate to men's workI wanted to share some quotes with you today.  I believe that they connect with the programs that West Coast Men’s Support Society deliver.

Here are some positive quotes about men:

Who is the happiest of men? He who values the merits of others, and in their pleasure takes joy, even as though t’were his own.  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

My theory is that men are no more liberated than women.  Indira Gandhi

No man stands so straight as when he stoops to help a boy.   Knights of Pythagoras

It’s not the men in my life, it’s the life in my men.  Mae West

Alas! it is not the child but the boy that generally survives in the man.   Arthur Helps, Thoughts in the Cloister and the Crowd, 1835

Here are some quotes that concern me.  It is sarcasm that causes both sexes far too much anger and sadness.  Until mutual respect happens, the sadness and anger will continue.

Men are beasts and even beasts don’t behave as they do.  Brigitte Bardot

Three wise men – are you serious?   Author Unknown

Never trust a husband too far, nor a bachelor too near.   Helen Rowland

Can Men Have Post Partum Depression?

Can Men Have Postpartum Depression

Can Men Have Postpartum Depression

The West Coast Men’s Support Society is always curious around various issues that impact men.  One issue that came across my desk today was around men suffering from postpartum depression.  Here is a link to the article that initially sparked my interest.  The article confirms that it is very common for men to suffer from postpartum depression as women.

What I realize is that this is a topic that I do not recall discussing at our Men’s Circle.  I will have to check in with our Dad’s Make a Difference facilitator to see if it has come up there.  It would be a great evening discussion!

I also wanted to do some more research online to see what other resources are available for men around this topic.  Here’s what I found:

PostpartumMen is a place for men with concerns about depression, anxiety or other problems with mood after the birth of a child. It promotes self-help, provides important information for fathers – including a self-assessment for postpartum depression.

Can Men Get Postpartum Depression?  This is an article from Men’s Health Magazine – the article sites the Journal of the American Medical Association – over 28,000 fathers were assessed.  The results indicate that at least 14% of men in the USA suffer from postpartum (my guess is that it is higher).

Men Get Postpartum Depression TooThis is an article from the Massachusetts General Hospital’s Center for Women’s Mental Health.  This article reinforces the above article.

I am glad that I have put this out there as a point of discussion.  I would very much like to hear from men on their personal experience with postpartum depression.

Thanks for your time!

Joy & Peace,

Grant M. Waldman
Executive Director
West Coast Men’s Support Society

Principles of Manifestation

Here is a wonderful article from The Emissaries of Divine Light, that I wanted to share. We at the West Coast Men’s Support Society totally relate to the ideas that are being delivered in this piece.  Our Men’s Circles and the Mankind Project constantly aspire towards improved accountability for men.  Our Fire & Bones program focuses on telling our truth, blessing, and trust.  I hope that you enjoy this!  I look forward to your comments/thoughts!

Grant Waldman – Executive Director

Any Moment

Any moment of hating,
Any moment of lying,
Any moment of resentment,
Is a moment of dying.

Any moment of loving,
Any moment of giving,
Any moment of thankfulness,
Is a moment of living.

All our moments add together
Like the digits in a sum,
And the answer tells us plainly
Whether life or death shall come.

                 Martin Cecil

Whatever the human intention might be, the principles of manifestation determine the outcome of any endeavor according to the causative factors in human experience. So we are very interested in a study of the principles of manifestation, and most particularly the understanding of what it takes to bring the manifestation of life through the human form. As that is really happening, we have the basis for creating a thriving world.

Humanity has developed a strange relationship with its leaders, in which it is hoped that leaders will change the way the principles of manifestation work. It is hoped that all the moments of the lives of people at large will be caused to add up differently because of our leaders. In the United States, people look to the President and the Congress and ask that they do something so that the sums will add up to life, and there is anger when they don’t. That scenario shows itself in the national debt. You add it all up, and it just doesn’t add up; and it is thought that Congress or the President ought to do something about it.

Honest leadership requires a realistic accounting of what is going on. The realistic accounting says that you can’t keep hating and lying and resenting and expect to live. And there are certainly plenty of those qualities in the public square. There are principles of manifestation for a person, for any body of people, and for the world as a whole. When those principles are harmonized with, there is life. Loving, giving and thankfulness bring life. But for a person who hates, lies and resents, the same principles of manifestation bring death because they are absolute Laws that bring results according to the causative factors in human experience. We live in a just universe.

There are two life-giving factors that are available from within anybody: inspiration and blessing. Have you discovered that there is actually no lack of inspiration? You can fail to go to the well and drink the water of inspiration; you can become worried, distracted and preoccupied. But anytime you go to the internal well of inspiration, it is there. The well of creative thinking, of vision, of understanding is always available from within. It only takes an internal quietude and an openness to drink from that well.

There is something else that is available from within—blessing, which is a quality of love. Anytime a person stops and opens themselves to receive it, blessing is available. There is the opportunity to know that we are loved by the power within that made us in the first place. We have always been loved, and that has never changed. We can choose not to drink of that love; we can fail to let it flow through us and into our world; we can cut off the flow of it, just like we can cut off the flow of inspiration. But that doesn’t mean it is not there.

It is a happy person who drinks from the well of inspiration and blessing. When a person does that, it becomes available in their world, through them to other people, as night follows day. Where there is a body of people who are drinking from the well of inspiration and blessing, it flows freely among them—unless they start cutting it off.

But there is something more that has to operate, according to the principles of manifestation, if there really is to be life. It’s wonderful to be inspired, but that inspirational thinking has to be applied to bring life. We have to find a way of acting on that inspiration.

Some of you know that I am a songwriter. So this cycle of inspiration and blessing is very familiar in that context. For me, it’s like tuning in a radio station—I tune in songs from somewhere within. The inspiration of those songs comes through as if they have already been written someplace else and I am just being handed the song.

At some point, that flow of inspiration is over, and the message I get from that is “Go sing the song!” Go share the song; go perform it. Don’t be greedy; do not forever be tuning in for more songs. You’ve got a song—go sing it. Share it with the world. It’s not yours anymore. It is time to perform it, and that takes another kind of process. That takes action; that takes manifestation. It is a different phase of the creative process, and it is a fulfillment of the process of inspiration. If I heard the tune, the tune’s got to be sung. It’s got to be written on a piece of paper and somebody has to perform it according to how it emerged.

Inspiration has to take action. It takes action through the direction that we set for our lives—intelligent direction based on how we are inspired. To be creative, that direction cannot just be a knee-jerk reaction to the latest impulse that has entered our thoughts and feelings. It must be a well-thought-out direction, not something half-baked. Not just half the song, not just the melody and no chords, not without the ending. No, the whole song, chords and all. If what we are doing together is going to manifest something that is alive, we have to manifest the whole song, based on the inspiration we receive, so that what comes out still has the life that it began with. It’s not corrupted by our lazy thinking, our distracted or self-interested thinking. It is not altered beyond recognition with an “I’d rather have it this way” attitude. How was it born into consciousness, whatever it was? Did it stay what it was by the time the song was sung? Or did it become something else?

That is how a human life can get. In the actual singing of it, it can become something different from the inspiration that is ignited within us. The complete thinking that allows inspiration to take its true form is true philosophy, which is the love of Sophia, the love of knowing. True philosophy is thorough thinking founded upon inspiration.

And how about blessing? We can receive blessing from Source, but when it comes to what we are conveying to another person, is it still blessing? Is it still love? Is it encouragement? Is it an energy that brings life? Does it still contain the seed and essence of blessing? Or did something else creep into it?

Inspiration and blessing bring life, but only if they come to their natural fulfillment, only if they come all the way through in our thinking and in our feeling. All the way through—not just a moment of feeling good, but a dedication to living a life of compassion and a life of service to other people, so that what comes through is unaltered by whatever resentments and hating and lying we might fall prey to if we let ourselves. So the principles of manifestation require some hard work—the work of thinking things all the way through and acting on that thinking, and the work of allowing what we have received of blessing in our life to come all the way through, intact, to other people—as Jesus said, so that the people of our world might have life and have it more abundantly.

David Karchere

 

Alec Greven – How to Talk to Girls

Check out this wonderful YouTube video of 9 year old Alec Greven talking about how to talk to girls.  Our Fire & Bones program works with male you age 12 to 18.  Healthy male mentors support them on their journey to manhood.

Please contact us for further details on Fire & Bones.

Thanks for your time!

Fathers without Fathers – Aboriginal Men in Canada

Good Day,

I was told about the below article earlier by a colleague, and wanted to post it for our readers.  I believe that it connects with the type of work we are doing here at The West Coast Men’s Support Society.  Our Dads Make A Difference program is a support group for new dads and fathers in crisis.  We are very interested in bringing this group to communities across BC because of situations that this segment of CBC’s The Current highlights.

Today, The Current comes to you from the Yukon Art Centre before a live audience to discuss a topic hiding in plain sight but rarely mentioned Fathers Without Fathers — Aboriginal Men In Canada.

In this special forum we hear from the first Canadian academic to start tracking Aboriginal men … Aboriginal fathers. We meet others working with Men who grew up without their dads and who want a different life for their own kids. And we hear from the audience as we explore this issue.

We’re in the North because Yukon Northwest Territories and Nunavut have the highest percentage of people with an Aboriginal ancestry. But this is an issue that has implications across First Nations communities and across our wider country.

PT 1: Absent Aboriginal Fathers

There are many statistics. The percentage of Aboriginal children being raised by a single parent — usually the mother — is double the percentage of other Canadian children. One in 5 First Nations women over the age of 15 is a single mom. And if statistics don’t change, a growing number of Aboriginal boys will typically become absent dads themselves. We hear from CBC Reporter, Geoff Leo who has been looking into this story and from a professor at the School of Child and Youth Care at the University of Victoria

Click here to listen to the radio show

PT 2: Absent Aboriginal Fathers (cont’d)

We continue to take about Aboriginal fathers – a demographic that has been called the greatest untapped resource in the lives of aboriginal children. That quote from Ed John, Grand Chief of the First Nations Summit in British Columbia. We hear from two people working with Aboriginal men – anxious to find new purpose in their lives, and the lives of their children.

Click here to listen to part two of this broadcast